


To Build A Home

by dark_matter



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family Feels, Guilt, Reunions, Shame, alice michelle is adorable, basically wynonna earp feels too strongly and places the blame on only herself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 11:36:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15605439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dark_matter/pseuds/dark_matter
Summary: Wynonna never thought she would be here, waiting for her daughter to come home.





	To Build A Home

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest I have no idea what this is but I was having some serious Wynonna/Doc/Alice feels so I wrote out his long rambly thing that doesn't really have a purpose besides to explore some indepthness to how much blame and guilt Wynonna puts on herself for literally everything. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

She was nervous. Extremely nervous. And by the fidgeting of his hands and the way he kept reaching out to grab her wrist before pulling back, Doc was too. 

Their baby was sitting somewhere on a plane that had just landed at the airport they were standing. Their baby who wasn’t quite still a baby. Their baby who was five and starting kindergarten and had friends and that damn Earp curse took too long to break.

There was phone calls, letters and birthday gifts and christmas gifts sent back and forth. The pictures Gus sent always either ended up in the drawer next to Wynonna’s bed or on the fridge or in Doc’s walet. The early morning calls where they were both desperately hanging on to each and every word their daughter said as she recounted what her and Auntie Gus did that day. 

Those slip ups where she would call Gus mama calling to her to hang up the phone, while Wynonna sat there on the line long after it had cut out staring at the ceiling before breaking down because her baby girl didn’t really know who she was and that was all her fault. 

Doc would gently take the phone out of her hands, hang it up, then crawl into bed and hold her whispering about how it would all be over soon, that they will break the curse and their daughter won’t spend the rest of her life talking to her parents over a cell phone. 

And for awhile there Wynonna couldn’t bring herself to believe him. Nothing ever seemed to slow down. There was always some sort of danger around the corner there was always someone who wanted her dead, her family dead. 

Then they killed Bulshar, had defeated the big bad. But they lost Dolls in the turmoil and Wynonna never wanted to accept that fact. 

Dolls, who had gave up everything to keep the rest of them safe. Her heart ached and she felt lost in the world without his calm and steady presence. She couldn’t eat, or sleep. Anytime she tried her dreams were flooded with his smile and his laugh and the way his hand would gently move her hair out of her face. Her feelings for Dolls intertwining with her feelings for Doc where confusing and complex but she loved him, she truly loved him and she never got to tell him. 

The loses she faced in her life seemed to become some never ending cycle. Everyone she loved either died, or came too close to it. Anyone around her was in danger every second of everyday and she couldn’t let her daughter become another casualty. 

So she distanced herself, from everyone but especially Doc. His touches were rejected, his longing stares ignored. Because she didn’t deserve any of that when Dolls was six feet under and still had a grip on her heart. It hurt, seeing Doc confused and not understand why she wouldn’t look at him anymore. But she had to do it. She wouldn’t do that. Wouldn’t let herself fall into his arms, into the embrace that made her feel safe and loved and strong. 

Until she was actively avoiding him more than that, leaving rooms, dodging texts, never being in the same room as him because he remind of her Dolls and Alice and everyone else that she had to lose but he was here and she resented him for that. Or herself. She wasn’t sure.

Then they broke the curse and there were tears and sighs of relief and everything she was working for had been completed, four years too late but it was done. It was done and suddenly there was phone calls to Gus and plane tickets being bought and she had barely spoken to Doc, to the father of her child for nearly three years and suddenly she couldn’t understand why. Except the dog tags around her neck and the photo in the picture frame on her nightstand reminded her why. 

“It’s okay,” Waverly told her a few days before the plane was supposed to land. “He would want you to be happy, Wynonna. That’s all he would ever want.” 

She knew that. Knew that Dolls wouldn’t want her to feel guilty about the feelings she had for both of them. Wouldn’t want her to torture herself over the fact that she has a chance to be with someone she loves, somone she has a kid with, as a family. 

She would always love Dolls, forever. But she would always love Doc too. 

And that's what she told him. Two nights before their daughter came home after five years, sitting in the room in the homestead they had decorated for her. Her love for Dolls knew no bounds but her love for Doc was electric and frustrating but so unbelievably strong.

He told her he knew and that he would never fault her for that. 

She cried and he held her until they fell into bed and she woke up in his arms and the world seemed to be calming. 

Until she was standing next to Doc waiting at the terminal hand in hand for their daughter to walk off that plane and into their empty arms and fill some of that gaping hole in both of their hearts. The world was spinning faster than she had ever felt. 

Then that mess of curls turned the corner, skipping happily next to Gus, her eyes trained on the floor, eyes covered by her overgrown bangs but that smile. That smile was the most beautiful thing Wynonna has ever seen, almost. The way her daughters face lit up when Gus tapped her shoulder and pointed over to the couple standing, waiting. The instant recognition that passed over Alice’s face as she let go of the hand she was gripping and started to run as fast as she could over to the people she knew were her parents. 

“Mommy, Daddy!”

Wynonna dropped Doc’s hand, crouched ready to catch her daughter and hold her since the day she had to let her go. Arms and legs collided with every part of her body but she couldn’t bring herself to care. A sob escaped her as she held the little girl as close as she could nosing her face into her hair, breathing her in. She could faintly feel Doc beside them hesitantly looking at his girls. 

Wynonna felt her hand grab his before she knew what she was doing and suddenly there was another set of arms wrapped around her and that hole from before was filled and this was were she was meant to be.

Alice started to squirm in her parents grip, until she was free and standing before her mother and Wynonna had never felt this sort of love before. This little girl standing in front of her missing a tooth in her smile was her everything. 

Wynonna reached out to tuck a curl behind Alice’s ear, “Hi, baby girl.”

The tooth missing grin spread wider, “Hi, Mama.”

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me on twitter @nicolexhaught <3


End file.
